forgotten about you...

another post with the similar name.

well, the reason why i started blogging was because there was an emptiness, a void in my life, previously occupied by a girl of my dreams. Stopped blogging awhile not because the void has been filled but because my time has been occupied with other things. Part of me wants to rest and the other part wants to just go on and on working and doing other things. I enjoy strecthing myself to the limit. Putting my physical self to the very extreme, learning very much to grow my spiritual self and letting my emotional self rest awhile and not do anything.

Really want a break but then again just do not feel like having a break. Love planning things in advance but nowadays things I do are so ad-hoc I begin to love doing things ad-hocly, unplanned, last minute. Not too good I know but then it shows how flexible i can be. I can have the luxury not to work late, not to work weekends but sometimes, I feel I need to especially overnight jobs. I can learn so much just being alone in the office. I enjoy the drive to work at late nights, no cars, no lights. Seems like a drive to nowhere but yet trusting and knowing that I'll be somewhere.

Sometimes I really don't know who i'll be and what i'll do if it's not for God. I'm not a very spiritual, religous kind of person but i'm a very relationship kinda person. When i get commited to a relationship, I know I want the best for that person and I think that's how I treat my relationship with God. I want to my very best to please Him, to bring glory to His name. I know i'm not made perfect and yet I know that i'm made according to His image, how wrong can that be?

I googled my name... and this is what i've found

Joe
Origin: Hebrew
Meaning: May Jehovah add/give/increase

indeed Has given me so much, He has added so much in my life and every day He increases my portion. I hope whatever that I have I can really share it with everyone. I hope the name Joe does not just stop at the part where I get all that Jehovah gives but I want to be a channel of blessing to others too. What more can I ask, if i really do have a chance to talk to God face to face. I think I will ask Him to add to me humour and ever lasting crappiness. If there's one way that I can win the world for Christ, I would choose to win the world by being a joy bringer. Suddenly i remember a song I used to sing when I was in Australia... it's by planetshakers and it goes like this..

REFLECTOR
Since i've found your love
I've never needed anything to fill my heart
Even when i fall
You're always there with open arms to pick me up

From the start i knew
No one else could make me feel the way you do
Everyday i want to grow
Just a little bit closer, just a little bit closer

I want to be a reflector
I want to shine with your glory
I want to let the whole world know that you're
Living in me

I want to burn with your fire
Shine my light a little brighter
I want to let the whole world know that
Jesus Lives in me

What a privilege it will be to be a reflector of Christ. That's what I want to be and that's what I'll strive to be.

How time flies, it's July already. Suddenly I feel the reality of life. Everyday passes me by and I feel i did not do enough for that particular day. Someone told me today that no time is wasted time. For it is from what we've been thru and what we've learned that makes us who we are today. Well couldnt say it better myself.

I would like to do a survey one day, send out a questionaire to 100 friends and see what they say about me. hahaha. Hopefully most of them would say I'm a joy bringer more than a sorrow bringer. Well, then again.. sometimes it's not what others say that matter. Even if the whole world thinks i'm crazy, i'm not good enough... as long as my family, my close friends knows i've done my best and i'm who i am, that's satisfying enough and I think that matters more to me than whatever global recognition that I will ever receive one day.

443am right now. Hopefully everything is smooth at work. I should be able to leave by 6am, go home sleep awhile and go church bout 8+ to help out.

CDPC is 8 years old today. Enjoyed growing with CDPC and hopefully I can contribute for many more 8 years to come.

signing off...
ciaoz..